Letter to self
Today I woke up asking myself wether anything else is worth it in this life and I just discovered that everything is vanity and a striving after the wind.
I have spend the last few years in a total mess and now looking back I cant understand why and how I failed to make right decisions.
My kids are all I have they are the most important people in my life. Everyone who has ever come into my life has come into my life because of what they can benefit from it. The minute I withhold my hand everyone has betrayed me beyond human imagination. People have gone from fabricating lies just to hurt me because they did not get what they wanted from me. Today I look back at everything and I realise everything is vanity. No friendship is worth your total freedom. No relationship is worth your total freedom. In this life there is nothing permanent except Jehovah God your children. I look at the devil's children who create ghost accounts on social media just to soil my name because they failed to squeeze blood out me and I realise that in this life everything is vanity.
Today I would give anything to rewrite the last 3 years of my life. I was happy with my children. We sang to Nox,Mahendere and Tytan to school in the car every morning. I remember the kids telling me I embarrass them by turning with Nandos at school for lunch. But it was fun. I remember when we had our weekend outings with my children and we were very happy. I would give anything to be quarantined with my kids today. I destroyed my happiness and my children's happiness because of a lie that was fed in my ears by the evil one. Today I look back and I ask myself was that worth it and I realise it was not even worth the paper it was written on. I met the devil in real life in a human being. Of they tell me there is hell I will tell you hell is here on earth and the devil is here in human form. After everything is said and done I am sitting in this room all alone while my kids are suffering and have no happiness in another country. I sit in this room wishing I could just hold my kids in my arms again. I am sitting in this room praying that I survive so I bring back the happiness my children had before I made a wrong turn. I look at life and I ask myself all the drama that has been brought into my life in the last few years is it really worth it. And the answer is no. All I want right now is to be with my children and nothing else. People have turned me into a villain out of nothing but hatred. I look at all those doing it and all I see today is the devil sitting in people's hearts. I.ask how can people be so evil and it makes no sense but now it does. The world is coming to an end and the devil has chosen his people to take down with him. As of today I choose God not the devil. All I pray for now is for God to please save me so I can bring happiness to my kids again. I want to be quarantined in a single room with my kids and I will be the happiest woman alive. If I come out of this alive this is what I am going to do with my life.
1. Love and worship God with my heart and soul.
2. Love my children with my life and suffocate them with love and happiness.
3. Teach my children how to love and worship God all the days of our lives.
4. Give love and a long hand to all the underprivileged people in Africa.
5. Fight to bring peace and joy to the marginalised.
6. Work so hard that my children never have to work hard in their natural lives.
7. Run for a political office that will change the narrative of how Africa is viewed around the globe.
8. Get rid of all the devil's advocates who are busy in their secret places planning to distroy me.
9. Making sure I never ever have a friend in this life but my family.
10. Turning a total blind eye to my haters because after everything is said and done I have realized we could never be friends because we are not the same. I am more of mother Theresa and they are more of Devil's advocates so oil and water cant mix.
11. Forgive all those that have betrayed me for no just cause and erase their memory from my life permanently.
12. Stay away from all toxic people in this life and turn a blind eye to their evil manipulation and devil's desire to stop me.from reaching for the sky.
13. Make sure I get justice for my disability and insure those responsible are punished for ruining my health for nothing.
14. Make sure I have invested my whole soul to the fight to eradicate poverty from my children life.
15. Finally making sure I become a billionaire so that i can eradicate poverty in Africa.
What good is it to be a billionaire in this life and still watch kids sleep hungry everyday in africa. Why be a billionaire in this life and still fail to change the lives of those who are in need.
I want to spread the love of God on globe and use that love to change the narrative in Africa while eradicating poverty totally in Africa. My life now is turned to doing nothing but good.
TO ANYONE I HAVE WRONGED IN THIS LIFE I WANT TO BEG YOU FOR FORGIVENESS. MAY YOU ALL FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO EXTEND THE LOVE OF GOD AND FORGIVE ME.
TO MY CHILDREN PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MAKING THE WRONG TURN AND BRINGING YOU SO MUCH SADNESS IN THESE LAST FEW YEARS. I PROMISE YOU THAT AFTER THIS WE GO BACK TO BEING THE HAPPIEST FAMILY AS WE WERE BEFORE THE DEVIL ENTERED OUR LIVES. I AM BEGGING YOU TO KEEP PRAYING AND KEEP THE RULL NUMBER 1 OF OUR FAMILY UNTIL THIS LOCKDOWN IS OVER.
FOR MY ENEMIES THAT ARE WITHIN AND CLOSE TO ME JUST NO AFTER THIS YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN. YOU KNOW YOURSELVES AND I KNOW YOU.
OF I DIE BEFORE THIS QUARANTINE ENDS ALL I ASK IS MY SONS MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY DISABILITY PAY FOR THEIR SINS.
I WAKE UP TODAY AND EVERYTHING IS VANITY AND A STRIVING AFTER THE WIND.
I PUT MY OWN LIFE IN THE HANDS OF VULTURES WHO HAVE USED THEIR POPULARITY TO SUPPRESS THE TRUTH AND CAUSE ME HARM AND SO MUCH PAIN. FOR THOSE I TELL YOU THAT TRUST ME YOUR POPULARITY AND FAME IS MEANINGLESS NOW WE ARE ALL LOCKED UP AND DONT KNOW IF WE ARE GOING TO LIVE OR DIE. I HOPE YOU ALL USE THIS TIME TO ALSO REFLECT ON THE EVIL AND HARM YOU HAVE DONE TO MANY LIVES ALL FOR POPULARITY.
AFTER EVERYTHING IS SAID AND DONE EVERYONE IS NOT SAFE RIGHT NOW NOT EVEN THE PRIME MINISTER OF BRITAIN.
THIS LIFE IS VANITY AND A STRIVING AFTER THE WIND.
GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO STAY ALIVE FOR MY CHILDREN AND THE MARGINALISED PEOPLE IN AFRICA.
DEBORAH EDITH CHIBHAMU.