Dear Zimbabwean women ,
I hope this communique finds you in good health. This authorship is being furnished to you , in uberrima fides ( utmost good faith) , firstly in my capacity as the President of the Zimbabwe Men Association( ZMA) . Secondly, in my personal capacity as a bonafide citizen of the Commonwealth of Intelligentsia.
The National Council ( the supreme body) members converged for a symposium. The following observations were at the epicenter of the symbolism:
i) Zimbabwean men are celebrated , appreciated , respected loved and cherished more by women from other nationalities compared to the respect they get from their Zimbabwean women.
ii) the nation is experiencing unprecedented economic disequilibrium/ doldrums
iii) the historicity of Valentines Day is both bloody and saturated with superstitions . In the ancient Roman times , the feast of Lupercalia was based on paganism.
iv)the marketization, commercialization and commodification of the contemporary Valentines Day is appalling
Given the aforesaid reality , we, as the National Council has unanimously deemed it necessary for all Zimbabwean men not to participate in the aforementioned pagan ritual . Any Zimbabwean man who decides to participate in this paganism will be effectively excommunicated from us .
Henceforth, no Zimbabwean brother will buy flowers , gifts or exhibit any other romantic gesture on Valentines Day . Please be also advised that Zimbabwean men are very loving , romantic , thoughtful , intelligent all year round .
This missive is strictly for all Zimbabwean ladies . Take heed to the advise furnished herein. Consider yourselves advised accordingly.
Yours sincerely and romantic,
President of ZMA,